If you tell a someone w boobs that they need to buy a shirt/dress that covers up their bra chances are you need to buy some pants to cover up your diaper because you are a massive whiny piss baby
TV show producer:
Okay so hear me out. Let's do a show starring VEGETABLES, but...they're CHRISTIANS.
Fine men naked and in suits. Have mercy.
Well, I suddenly find that I believe in heaven.
(Source: the-dark-side-of-the-room, via addiebug)
(Source: humorstop, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)
really all you need to know about the american health care system is that there’s a popular tv series where a man turns to cooking industrial quantities of crystal meth in order to pay his hospital bills
I love the look on his face when he gets to the smallest one.
i hate you all
(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via tiredtarantula)
legally an adult, mentally a squid
Me: can u give me x²+4y+ of tomatoes & 2(x²+8xy^3) of potatoes please
Seller: I dont understand
Me: well i dont give a fuck i didnt study in vain
those are polynomials you asked for a neverending curve of tomatoes
If you are driving a vehicle…
use your turn signal
Use your turn signal
Use your turn signal
USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL
USE YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING TURN SIGNAL
IT’S NOT JUST A RANDOM OOOOOoOoOoOO WHAT DIS DO, DIS FLIPPER SWITCH STICK THINGY WAT A NEAT CAR DECORATION
sext: i want to pay bills and share household duties and approach our late 20’s in a financially and emotionally stable way with you
LOOK HOW BIG THESE M&M’S ARE I LOVE THEM
Enjoy the cavities
you must be fun at parties
The single most toxic thing I was brought up believing is that being Adult and Responsible and Good starts with doing everything completely alone and without help
What it’s really about is learning where and when you need help, how much help you need, and knowing when to reach out and ask for the help you need to function at your ideal level
People were never meant to live alone
I thought I was gonna be mad but then no. So good. Yes. Please.
(Source: kristine-claire, via addiebug)
OH MY GOD
(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via infidusfiles)
(Source: sad-sorry, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)